May 2012
24 posts
Regardless.
Trying to piece it all out together to a decent entry but I can’t.
So I just cried.
“The truth is you can be orphaned again and again and again. The truth is, you...”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via troubled)
Operative word: MAYBE.
whywebrokeupproject:
because we need more time to grow, but I still want you. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder. Til then, i’ll be missing you.
Assuming that.
I dabbled with my bag and stuff as I hailed a taxi and tried to get in. I looked at the Taxi driver — mid-40’s, scruffy hair, unironed shirt. A true-blue suburb stamp. The customer service skills, I must say, is very good considering the small talk starter —
“Who’s the lucky man?”, he asked, looking at the two large cups of coffee on my lap.
“The lucky...
Fleeting.
The past few moments have been fleeting. I’m trying to hold it together, you see. It’s working perfectly well though I wonder how long I can pull it off.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself”, my cousin said while driving to get some groceries. I heaved a long sigh. I’ve always been too hard on myself all my life —
that I’m afraid I’ve gotten used...
I tried to remember.
Just in case you are doubting, I tried to remember everything.
But my head failed me and the emotions have all escaped.
Today.
Today, I finally gave up.
Chances.
He asked how I was going to go home tonight after work and that if no one was dropping me off, he will. I looked at him. His eyes looked sincere. When he came to work yesterday, he didn’t have any dinner with him so I shared mine. He said he went straight from doing the shopping to work and didn’t have enough time to cook. He cooks.
He asked me different kinds of questions: do I...
Failing and Flying - Jack Gilbert.
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It’s the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
...
Undo.
I came home to a pile of clean, washed clothes. Unfolded. On my bed. I tricked myself into believing that if I do something before I sleep, I’d get tired and not think of you.
Two hours of folding and tucking away, here I am, thinking of us.
If she points to my pictures one day and asks you about me, will you tell her everything?
Write to remember.
It is past midnight and the old man of the house is still awake. I can feel his discomfort as I hear him shift in his bed. He can’t sleep. Heavy footsteps now to the toilet, tap open, warm water to his face for comfort.
I wonder if he knows he is not the only person awake in the house or if he can feel my chest wince, my spectrum of emotions projecting sulking greys and blacks into the...
Are You Okay?
As I walked out of the cafe, I tried to make a conversation with a man I always see seated in the al fresco area, sipping coffee out of a straw. He is wearing a faded military jacket coupled with grey pants that might have been black before. His browned skin and big, calloused hands reflect stories. He smokes, from what looks like it, his lone cigarette at an early 10 in the morning.
Earlier that...
Here we go again.
You were always the type to remember everything.
And I always, always forget.
—
I woke up this morning and there was no ceiling.
Only a sea in my room of floating lost things.
I would like to weave them into an ode
and make our story, like a song.
—
Your last email three days ago was some sort of a good-bye. You said you went online to let me know you were going away but...
April 2012
13 posts
Sometimes you cant believe the audacity of married...
Major puke.
I will talk to your wife, bastard, and let’s see you piss your pants as your actions break your family apart.
The Why We Broke Up Project: We broke up because... →
whywebrokeupproject:
We broke up because you’re obsessed with being part of everything. Everything you saw you joined, and it eventually got to the point where you had no time for a healthy relationship.
We broke up because I got tired of waiting for you to be free, and I got tired of you cancelling our plans to join…
I am majorly FUCKED up right now.
I hope I can just
ERASE ERASE ERASE
and start anew.
BUT NO.
hellyeah.
Do you wanna get murdered or something?
Above is my workmate’s reaction to finding an apartment around this area. Seriously, it sucks that I don’t know how to drive.
Links to the houses Im currently watching on TradeMe:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=467757234
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=468000665
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=468084120
...
“So just kiss me and let my hair
messy itself in your fingers
tell me nothing...”
Miranda.
To tell you the truth, what you are afraid of is to admit that you are in love with falling in love and that is it. There is nothing about the other person because you take pride in making them twirl in the palm of your hand and when they caught your bait you feel proud of yourself — someone fell for you because you are this sweet, caring, thoughtful person that everybody wants to covet.
...
“Ikaw na ang busy-ng may time mag update sa FB na busy ka. ANG BUSY MO TE.”
Socially Awkward.
“Do you like going to dinners like that?”
Arnika asked while cruising down the motorway from Ponsonby to Glen Innes. It was a Friday night and my cousin’s birthday. We just finished dinner at Sawadee, a Thai restaurant with the cousin’s other fabulous friends. They decided they are still going to hit a couple of bars after dinner which I’m not really keen to do so...
March 2012
24 posts
NO SATISFACTION: Shot me, right to the fucking... →
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you...
I Want To Do Little Projects With You. →
“Sa America, kapag nawalan ng kuryente tumatawag sa Power Company.
Sa Japan,...”
Never The Same.
The conversation made me think that we are never the same in a lot of ways thinking that we have been partners short of a decade now.
Really. Never the same in something as miniscule as, say, food choices, to something as humongous as, err, life goals.
Painful.
The Girl Who Doesn't Know What She Wants.
I know this girl very much.
She sits on her spot every day at the station 20 minutes earlier than her train schedule. She fiddles with her phone, pretending she’s engaged in something very entertaining, sips instant tea from her tall mug, and ready-s her change for her fare.
She spots the old man across the road who owns a VHS rental store in this age of torrent and piracy. She figures the...
I smell dog's piss --
On me.
I live in a 2-storey, 7-bedroom house with an aunt, her husband, and their 2 Chihuahuas. I love dogs but it is my ultimate belief that they be trained and schooled and disciplined.
These two do not know discipline at all so they piss and piss in all their “this is my territory” glory and the humans in the house have to yield.
Incredible.
Bookman.
He smirked at me.
Prolly coz I bought the Art of War this week. A complete U-turn from all my previous buys ie cookbooks, crafts, astrology from him.
He prolly thinks — “Well, well.”
“I wept because I could not believe anymore and I love to believe. I can still...”
Parang ice cream na bilad sa ilalim ng araw -...